Diet and Abandonment.....

I woke up this morning after having two dreams about two different topics, and I realized I must talk about these issues today. The first topic I wanted to discuss out loud here is the recession and the American Diet. I say American Diet, but actually it is becoming a problem with the World Diet.

I remember hearing stories about the Irish. How they were so poor and people were starving. And how the Irish mostly only ate potatoes and cabbage.  All I could think of was all that starch from the potatoes. Which brings me back to one of today's topics. During times of less moneys, have you noticed that people fill up more on potatoes, rice, pasta, and grains?  So not only are we having to deal with more processed foods where they add sugars, high fructose corn syrup, and other "fillers", people can't afford to buy all the foods they want to when moneys are tight. And currently we are still going through a recession. So what are people doing? And it is this kind of diet that is making the world more obese, and making alot more Diabetics, causing inflamation and making people alot more sick!!

Not too long ago, I went to an appointment and looked at their wall. What did I see? They had a "Food Pyramid" up on the wall. It was a very big picture of a food pyramid, and IT WAS WRONG. On the bottom of the pyramid, it showed grains and all that. Saying people need to fill mostly up on the very stuff that is making people fat and sick now adays. To me, ideally, these things would rather be the tiny space at the top of the pyramid, or not on the pyramid at all. 

Ideally, we should eat lots of vegetables, fruits, protiens for each meal each day. And a small handfull of nuts assortments each day like walnuts that are high in Omega 3's. But the problem is, most folks don't eat like that. In the American/World Diet, most folks eat more starches and foods that turn to high sugars instantly in the diet and raise blood sugars like grains, pasta, rice, and potatoes.

Also, people eat alot more fast foods. And what are those foods? Processed meats and breads full of processed ingredients.....high fructose corn syrup, salts, starches, and more fillers. But with moneys tight for everyone, they head to value meals that only cost 99 cents to $1.00 per item. So many folks who are on a fixed financial budget, and that is most of us, are trying to make our moneys stretch.

Here in America, they have not had a "cost of living" adjustment in wages or fixed income in a couple of years. And the cost of living adjustments never match the raise in the cost of living. For instance, look how much food, gas, water and more has gone up this year alone. Yet this year, no "cost of living" adjustment to wages or fixed incomes. Why not? 

The next subject I want to touch on, is something I found out I suffer from: Abandonement issues.  When I was little, my Dad moved out when I was 3 years old. Then we moved to Vallejo with our Mother and Grandparents from southern California where I was born. Then I was taken away from my own Mother when I was 8.  Moved with my Dad and Step Mom, who didn't want us. At age 9, she told my older sister and I, "I hate you. You remind me of your Mother." We never did figure each other out. At age 10 years old, I was sent away from Foster home to Foster Home. I changed many schools, and changed living with many people. Until finally, my Dad sent me to a Christian Boarding Academy, which was the best thing he could have ever done. I had also prayed and God answered my prayers. The Christian Boarding Academy was like having my own apartment and eating healthfully, and having friends who also loved God.  But until that time, I felt abandoned by everyone eventually. I learned that people let you down whether they mean to or not.

Then I went off to college, where I found friends and co workers abandoned me. I felt my church had abandoned me back then. Young men were pursuing me to try to have sex with me. It was a very very traumatizing time in my life for me. No adults there to help me. But God never abandoned me. My only blessing, I got pregnant. And that child is a blessing to me until this day. A friend of mine who I went to the Christian Academy with, he recited a verse for me to comfort me. He said in the Bible it says, "I will be a Father to the Fatherless". And I knew God would be the head of my house from that day on.  Funny, during that time when I was first pregnant, I went to see some friends. One friend told me "I'm glad I never had sex".

And the other friend I went to see wanted to be a Pastor. So I went to that friend looking at them as a Pastor. I went into their office and waited for them to come in and talk to me. And they never came in to talk to me. I felt even abandoned by that friend, too. However, when I got older, I understood that since my friend was my age, he didn't want to be seen with me because other hypocrites might think he was the Father of my child, and it would do in his future career. But now we are all older. And see things differently now then when we were young.

About other friends during that time, Do you know, that even to this day, some old friends won't talk to me, even after all these years? Why? Because back then, people started spreading lies and accusing this person and that person of being my child's Father. Lies ran rampant, and no one but God Himself, could see what was really going on. I'm so glad God went after me!

Eventually I got married. And during the almost ten years we were married, my first husband abandoned me too. He never sowed his wild oats, and I couldn't stay in a relationship where he got another young lady pregnant, or blew his paychecks at stripper bars, or had girlfriends or dates on the side, or he beat me especially, and started to go at the kids.  I had tried getting private counciling for 2 years thru my Pastor. I prayed. I became more and more active in my church in Idaho, even becoming the communications secretary for our church. I wrote for a local newspaper as a newspaper columnist at that time, and other publications. Even getting published in the USA Today paper, and I had an application to join the Screen Writers Guild. I had studied script writing for 2 years.

But things got worse and worse between my first husband, Rob, and myself. We divorced. All I wanted was a family, and never to get divorced. I wanted a marriage for life. I wanted to raise my kids and be close to my Grandkids. I wanted them to have that happy family.  But the time came and I knew it wasn't going to happen. And things kept getting worse. My family in California was afraid I would be sent back home to California in a pine box it got so bad. So I divorced him.

Second marriage of 18 years was better. But he was a little younger then me. And I had my problems in that marriage too. I became the bread winner. I had to take charge of everything because he got too stressed out.  Yes, he did cheat on me, too, and tried to cheat on me many times. I remember being in our bedroom with the window open.

We lived in some condo's. And the garages were under us. I listened as my husband told a girl next door in her garage, "She's married, I'm not." The "She" he was referring to, was me.  I ended up divorcing him too. I realized then, that I would never be successful in a marriage of this world. I looked up in a dictionary what "Husband" means. It means "Manager". And neither of these men I married couldn't even manage their own lives, let alone a family. Yes, I have forgiven them along time ago and moved on with my life. We're all on life's journey, and sometimes we make mistakes. But we learn from those mistakes. If we don't learn from our mistakes, the same things are brought back around for us to go thru again and again until we do learn from our mistakes.  

Having a family, is more then going to work and getting a paycheck. Did I not find the right men who were ready to be married? If they were not ready to be married, then why did they get married? Could it be they didn't know this until they got married? Or was it simply none of us knew how to be married? After all, none of us had observed any happy or successful marriages. 

Now that I am an old broad, a Grandmother, I really think that couples should be made to get couciling BEFORE they marry. Not only to learn how to deal with things if they should arise, but also to learn to not disrespect one another and to never de-value one another in words or actions. Or never to take one another for granted, just because you are married or feel you've got the person now.

Yesterday, I got a lovely quote from an old friend's facebook page. It was written by John Lennon of the Beatles.

John Lennon said: “We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep on watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.” —John Lennon.

I thought how true these words are. You've really got to look after love and nurture it. You can't just leave it and think it is going to get on by itself. You can't just "get used to it" like an old shoe or fixture of furniture at home, and ignore it, simply thinking it will always be there. Because maybe it won't! You've got to talk to it, giving it your full attention. You've got to observe it and listen to it to see what it needs to make it happier and healthier, and what will make it thrive.

I think this is true with all relationships. And each person must respond to one another. Because if they don't, if they don't even talk to one another, how will a person know what the person needs to thrive, feel loved, and more?

Which brings me to another thought....the cycle of life. When I was young, in my parent's generation, they never discussed many things. Like what happens once you turn 40. That your own health starts to slide, Diabetes in my family, or any subject on aging. Or how our Grandparents pass on, or our Parents and Aunts and Uncles, and how to deal with those things. Often times, now that I am older, I wonder if my Parent's and Grandparent's ever felt like I do or think the thoughts I do? My Grandparent's passed on first, both sides. Then my Mom passed on in 1995, and my Dad passed on in 2006. I miss them all. Now that I am older, I think of them and ponder some of their choices and decisions as I was growing up, now learning that I suffer from abandonment issues time to time. 

But then I realise this Truth: People love the best they know how. It may not always be what we need or what we want, but people love the best they know how. This is my quote, my thought.

What is the answer now and for future genertions? We need to once again define love and what it is. And what committment is. How to love, and keep it alive. How to protect our relationships. And by that I mean, that when the other person is not around, to continue to act like they are around and to never do anything you wouldn't do with that person around. We need to rebuild the family. We need to keep God in our lives whether single or married. That doesn't necessarily mean going to church. It's talking to God each and every day, knowing He is real. And understanding that we are in this world to learn and experience both good and bad. We have Spiritual Bodies and Fleshly Bodies. The Bible speaks of these things in old and new testaments. The Apostle Peter called his fleshly body "A Tent". Meaning his fleshly body was the tent for his Spiritual Body to camp out in while here in this world, and while we are learning and experiencing. Until the day our "Tent" wears out, and releases our Spiritual Body's to go back to God. 

Some religions believe that their Spiritual Bodies remain in the fleshly body even after death. I don't believe that God is going to leave something that belongs to him in rotten flesh. And if you have ever seen a deceased body, you see it no longer looks like the person. Why? Because the Spirit body of the person is no longer there. 

Which brings me to other thoughts on that, but maybe another day. It is almost 8:30 am as I write this, and it is 32 F (0 C) outside right now here in the Northern California Sierra Mountain Foothills. It was colder then that last night, but now the temperature has risen to it's current readings. I see blue sky and sunshine, but it is still freezing outside literally. 

I hope all of you have a lovely day! And I hope while I work thru my own issues mentally and emotionally, and share these openly with Family, Friends, or whom ever chooses, I hope that somehow these blogs might be helpful to others working out their own issues. And for my family and friends to get a deeper glimpse into the person of Sandy. That would be me!! 

Also, I wanted to say about both of the men I was married to, they are not bad people. They were young men going on a journey called life, and still learning. Just like I was. The second husband passed on in 2001, the day after Christmas. The first husband is still alive. And still in denial when it came to our relationship. His way of dealing with all his relationships that never worked out, is by telling everyone that me and all his other ex wives and girlfriends were all nuts. He isn't in a position to mentally and emotionally take responsibility of his own actions yet. I understand this. I hope others do as well. A person cannot be helped until they come to a point themselves of understanding or wanting that understanding. No one can do it for them. So I forgive them all. And we keep on going!!  Life if good. God, family, friend, pets, life....these are the true treasures in life!  :-)